英语四级作文提分技巧之结构简洁

　　斜体字部分较啰嗦，因为"by"就是"by means of boat"。

　　请看下列例句

　　Wordy: It makes me feel painful to think that she has to work 12 hours a day and seven days a week.

　　Better: It pains me to think that she has to work 12 hours a day and seven days a week.

　　Wordy: It will be our aim to ensure proper health care for each and every one of the Chinese people.

　　Better: Our aim is to ensure proper health care for all Chinese.

　　Wordy: This book will help you master the basic elements of good writing.

　　Better: This book will help you master the basics of good writing.

　　Wordy: The search of the forest that they conducted was entirely complete.

　　Better: The search of the forest was complete.

　　或They conducted a complete search of the forest.

　　第二个句子合乎汉语表达习惯，即他们对森林进行了彻底的搜查。

　　Wordy: He has no sense of principles, whether he is in public or in private.

　　Better: He has no principles, public or private.

　　Wordy: Whenever anyone telephoned her to ask her for help with their homework she always obliged right away.

　　Better: She immediately obliged anyone who telephoned for help with homework.

　　Wordy: In a cautious manner the car went around the corner.

　　Better: The car negotiated the corner.

　　Wordy: If the government agency finds that an individual has received a payment to which the individual was not entitled, whether or not the payment was due to the individual’s fault or misrepresentation, the individual shall be liable to repay to the government the total sum of the payment to which the individual was not entitled.

　　Better: If the government agency finds that you received a payment that you weren’t entitled to, you must pay the entire sum back.

　　Wordy: Another important aspect is good health. It is one of our great blessings. It may be achieved through proper diet and exercise. Rest is also desirable.

　　Better: The great blessing of good health may be had through proper diet, exercise, and rest.

　　词语简化的一些技巧

　　2 策略之一：用介词短语替代从句。

　　例:

　　Wordy: While they were playing tennis, she started an argument that lasted all morning.

　　Better: During tennis she started an argument that lasted all morning.

　　Wordy: When you come to the second traffic light, turn right.

　　Better: At the second traffic light turn left.

　　2 策略之二：删除诸如"who is”或"that is"之类的关系代词，变从句为短语。

　　例:

　　Wordy: The novel, which is written in three parts, told a story that took place in the Middle Ages.

　　Better: The three-part novel told a story set in the Middle Ages.

　　注：把句中的”three parts”改用形容词来表达，节省了四个不必要的单词”which is written in”。我们经常可以将关系代词如”that”去掉，这只会引起最少的变动。

　　2 策略之三：剔除你不需要的单词

　　"Two joint partners will present their views over a long-distance telephone call. "

　　写完这样的句子后，你自己再读一遍，挑出单词”joint”和”telephone”，注意删去不必要的词。

　　2 策略之四：表达否定意义时，尽量避免使用否定词。英语中很多词不用 "no’s" 或者"not’s"也能表达否定含义的词汇，你尽可以采取更为委婉的表达方式。

　　例：

　　Thus college students who do not have sufficient financial backing ,

　　也就是 college students who lacks sufficient financial backing。

　　如果你不想使用太多的否定词，就应该尽量避免使用它们。