英语四级写作范文及点评

　　The Story of My Life by Helen Keller is the most influential book in my life. It abounds with courage, struggle and faith throughout.① Helen Keller was once in deep despair in her childhood, but finally she decided to overcome her physical defects and live happily. Furthermore, she showed great patience in her long and hard learning period.

　　I have learned, above all, three lessons from her story.② First, she taught me that often the road to success is to face hardships bravely. Maybe you are born under an ill star yet you can stand a better chance than others. It is therefore important that you screw up your courage when courage is needed. Second, the impairment of part of her senses did not prevent her from learning: on the contrary, she had made continual efforts to go deeper into the realm of knowledge, and her perseverance had thus helped her overcome many handicaps. Third, she advised that we should make the most of our sense organs as if we would lose them soon because this way we would observe the world more carefully than ever before.③

　　The book is inspiring in that it is one brimming over with the unbending will of a gallant woman beset with seemingly insurmountable difficulties.④I hope I can be as courageous as she.

　　[227 words]

　　行文点评

　　文章第一句直接切入主题：The Story of My Life by Helen Keller is the most influential book in my life。接下来，对书和主人公进行了简要介绍。第二段从三个方面具体说明该书对作者的影响和启示。三个副词first、second、third之后，分别从面对困难、坚忍不拔、和珍惜我们的感官三个方面阐述了这本书对读者的影响。最后一段进行概括性说明。

　　文章字斟句酌，第一段运用abound with这个固定搭配指出作者认为这本书对其影响最大的原因，即courage, struggle and faith。行文过渡自然，第一段中用furthermore进行第二点补充，实现了句与句之间的衔接，丰富了内容，保证了全文的连贯性。结尾处as... as的运用，与首段主题句相互照应，深化了主题，为短文画上了圆满的句号。

　　好文妙译

　　对我一生影响最大的书

　　海伦·凯勒所著的《我生活的故事》是对我一生影响最大的一本书。此书全篇充满了勇气，奋斗和信仰。海伦·凯勒童年时曾经一度十分消沉，但是最后她决定克服自己生理上的缺陷快乐地生活。并且她还充满耐心地完成了漫长而艰难的学习过程。

　　最重要的是，从她的经历中，我领悟到了三个道理。首先，她教给我通往成功之路的真谛即要经常勇敢地面对艰难困苦。或许你一生下来身体就有缺陷，但是你依然可以获得比别人更好的机会。因此重要的是在需要勇气时鼓起自己的勇气。第二，她感官上的某些缺陷并没有阻止她学习，相反，她却持之以恒努力钻研知识，正是这种坚韧不拔的精神帮助她克服了很多障碍。第三，她建议我们应该充分利用我们的感官，就好像我们马上就要失去他们一样，因为这样我们就会比以前更仔细地观察这个世界。

　　这本书催人奋进，全篇洋溢着一个勇敢的女人在被一些看似不可能克服的困难困扰时所表现出来的不屈的精神。希望我也可以和她一样的勇敢。

　　词汇斟酌

　　?under an ill star 生来不幸

　　?impairment n. 损害, 损伤

　　?brim v. 充满，溢出

　　?gallant a. 英勇的

　　?insurmountable a.不能克服的

　　佳句临摹

　　①【注释】abound with充满

　　【临摹】The region abounds with rain all the year around.那个地区终年多雨。

　　②【注释】above all首先，最重要的是

　　【临摹】I should like to rent a house - modern, comfortable and above all in a quiet location.我想租一幢房子——要求设备现代化、舒适，尤其是地段要清净。

　　③【注释】make most of sth充分利用，最大限度利用

　　【临摹】We should make the most of our resources without wasting.我们应该充分利用资源不要浪费。

　　④【注释】brim over with充满，洋溢

　　【临摹】We won the foot game just now, so all of us are brimming over with joy.我们刚刚赢了足球比赛，大家都兴高采烈。

　　【临摹】We brim over with sympathy after she told us her sad story.她告诉我们她的悲苦身世后,我们对她深表同情。

　　思如泉涌

　　Books and friends should be few but good.读书如交友，但求少而精。

　　Use a book as a bee does a flower.对待书籍，要像蜜蜂对待花朵一样。